Sunday, March 4, 2012

There is no shame in online dating

Manchester Beach State Park Shadows

I would say I have to confess something, but I'm not so much confessing as I am screaming from the rooftops: There is no shame in online dating. Over the past couple years, I have been collecting offhanded remarks about the weirdness of online dating from bloggers I read and even from people I interact with on a face-to-face basis. They describe how it's a last resort, how they're so busy, how it prevents people from developing normal social skills, how the Internet is full of weirdos, and so on. I'm here to tell you:
  1. Online dating is not weird.
  2. Online dating does not make you weird.
  3. People who online date still need social skills.
  4. Online dating does not protect you from rejection.
  5. Online dating does not always end in dating horror stories.
  6. Your online dating needs no qualifiers, no explanations.
Regardless of whether or not 1 in 6 marriages are from online dating, there remains a social stigma around the concept of "online dating" and I'm just plain sick of people making excuses for this "divergent" behavior that's really not divergent at all. It's all going to be okay, people. Calm the heck down.

I met J, the man who first made his appearance on the blog as a dismembered hand in my food photos, via OkCupid (OkC), which is not just an online dating website, but a free online dating website, and I'd say things are going pretty well. Now that I've thoroughly jinxed our relationship, I will venture to say that both J and the second person I had a date with through OkC were absolutely wonderful human beings. I have not had a single horror story resulting from my online dating exploits (well, aside from that one kid who messaged me telling me he thought that women deserved to be pampered on the first date, whatever the heck that means). Even more surprisingly, a considerable number of matches were people I already knew through grad school.

So really, by all means, if you're looking to meet new people by way of putting yourself out there, then go for online dating. If you're already online dating, stop making excuses. Calm the heck down.

I need to get a 'soapbox' label for this blog, lol.

[Edit 8/15/13: A Practical Wedding has a nice post that complements my mini-rant.]
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8 comments:

  1. AllisonMarch 4, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    I also met my boyfriend on OkC. We've been dating for about 18 months now. Unfortunately, I did meet some weird people, but lets call that "character building experiences."

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  2. AnonymousMarch 4, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    Ha, met my husband online:) Not weird to me:)

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  3. UnknownMarch 4, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    I used to love online dating! I called it boyshopping. It was super fun to scroll through profiles!

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  4. StephanieMarch 5, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    I have a friend who is doing OKCupid. She's loving it. I don't think it's weird at all! To each their own.

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  5. hMarch 5, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    To be honest, most of the people being weird about online dating aren't those I'd consider "friends", but more like, acquaintances. I must just surround myself with a particular type of person...

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  6. roothMarch 6, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    My best buddy met his "to be" fiance online after I created a bunch of profiles for him. It works and I feel like such a matchmaker!

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  7. mollieMarch 6, 2012 at 9:42 PM

    i've only ever done online dating once. because i married the guy :)

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  8. AzMarch 7, 2012 at 12:36 PM

    I'm also considering online dating. I'm still "considering" it because in South Africa, we mostly have freaks on online dating websites. SO when the normal people come out to play, I'll give it a go :)

    ReplyDelete

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