Friday, August 28, 2015
You guys. I've done a thing. A really big, tremendously huge thing. And it's only now, 2 days later, just kicking in. The thing I've been working towards for seven years, and immediately slaving over for at least two, is over. Over and done.
I wouldn't even let myself think about it. I'd take my goals in small pieces of time. Smaller and smaller as it got closer. The day of I was only thinking in 15 minute chunks of time. Now I get dressed. Now I buy cookies. Now I set up my laptop. Now I give a 45 minute talk which symbolizes all I've been learning and working toward for seven years. Didn't think about the forty minutes of grilling by specifically selected experts in my field. One question at a time. One word at a time. One sip of water. It's over.
Some people find it anticlimactic. Immediately afterwards, I could feel a slow warmth in my chest. The next day, I nearly cried tears of joy while waiting for an elevator. And now I'm just sort of confused. I've been waiting for the volcano to erupt, it did, but I was prepared and got through it better than expected. Now I'm left looking at my reinforcements, wondering what I'm supposed to do with them. This wall just isn't necessary any more.
I've got my PhD.